Well, you know, we all want to change the world.
Actually, my intentions for this blog are to change my world. I am sure I write this blog amongst throngs of people who share my new year's resolution to write a blog. My situation is perhaps a little different because I actually already have a blog. Like many wannabe bloggers, I kind of suck at updating said blog. In fact, my last post was on July 21st; it was a music video (though an excellent choice of video, if I do say so myself).
When I decided that my resolution for 2010 was going to be to write more, I knew that I needed a specific purpose to write or else I would lose motivation (I know myself) and give up before February 1st (which would be, interestingly enough, longer than many people last with their resolutions). Surprisinly, determining this purpose did not take me very long.
A few years ago while reading the book, The Perks of Being A Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky, I read these words, and realized that Chbosky had just put words to a feeling that I had experienced several times in my life.
"...and in that moment, I swear we were infinite."
Ihad never quite realized what it was, but upon reading these words I knew that I had had that feeling of infinity before: that feeling of past and present and future; of feeling the world around me and feeling myself within it; of feeling alive in a way that was so intense that I felt it could last forever. They are beautiful moments of reality and reflection, hope and potential; and though these moments had been rare, I soon discovered that if I just took the time- made the conscious effort- I could feel them every day. Granted, the infinite moments that catch you off guard have their own unique, magical quality, but the moments in which I would step outside of myself and simply hear the way I would laugh in perfect unison with my sister, actually feel a snowflake melt on my cheek, taste the soft, buttery caramel on my tongue...those moments of being guilelessly present in the world felt infinite.
In our world of constant stimulus I feel that these singular moments are so often lost in the big picture, and as I searched for a purpose to my 2010 writing project, I knew that it was to be an exercise both in writing and in understanding my own metaphysical existence. And so I begin this project: 365 days, 365 moments. My goal is to take the time everyday to simply experience a moment, whether big or small, and to detail that experience on this blog. I am sure that in the absurd vastness of the blogosphere, this blog is likely to be read only by myself, but if you happen to come across this blog (my guess would be that you did so after an extensive period of mindless blog surfing), feel free to comment with your own moments. The process is simple: step back and just purely live in a moment; be aware of your senses; and then write about it here. Not to sound pretentious, but it may just change the way you experience life.
I hope that it changes the way I experience mine.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I love this idea! I can't wait to read about all of your moments. Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteMeghan, I have to go read that book tomorrow - just because of "...and in that moment, I swear we were infinite." I've had that feeling too. Most recently this Christmas Eve.
ReplyDeleteI've been hating Southern California with a vengeance the past six months. Most of the time I want to beat up California then light it on fire. Christmas with T was shaping up to be quite fine despite SoCal trying to screw us over.
On Christmas Eve T and I were getting ready for bed and heard loud music. We thought it was the downstairs neighbor with his Bollywood again. It wasn't.
We went outside (in our pajamas!) and there was a small parade with four or so floats *covered* in Christmas lights carrying carolers with dancers following behind. People dressed like elves were handing out candy canes. There are a lot of apartment buildings on our street and many people came out to see what was going on. Everyone was just so amazed and happy and singing along. It was really and truly magical. Like something out of a movie.
There was something about being in that crowd; being part of that moment that just *felt* like Christmas. But it was more than just a feeling of Christmas. It felt like our very lives were intertwined. Like our lives would always be intertwined. At that moment these people, who I didn't know, who I had never met, were giving me hope that California was okay. That I was okay. That sometimes reality is beautiful.
It was such an intense feeling and it hit me all at once that I actually cried. Not sobbing crying - I was in public for heaven's sakes! - just a few silent tears as I realized my world had just changed.
I know that these kinds of moments don't happen everyday. But they do happen. And they happen on a smaller scale everyday. I can't wait to see what you notice the next 365 days.
That is such an awesome moment!! I love those times in which you feel strangely connected to people that you don't know and wouldn't even know or notice if you were not standing in the same place, experiencing the same thing.
ReplyDeleteI am happy that this experience made SoCal seem a little better; I know that you are not the biggest fan of that place.
And that is exactly why I am trying (somewhat unsuccessfully at the moment) to notice things every day. There are some things, like your Christmas experience, that are so overwhelming that we can't help but notice them, but there are little things that pass us by all the time, and I would like to notice those little things.
Thanks for reading this blog. Hopefully I will get better at actually posting everyday and improve my writing skills. Love ya!