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Monday, January 4, 2010

January 4th, 2010

You know those moments of self discovery that you have every once in a while, not the nice, "Wow, I have pretty eyes" kinds of moments, but the ones where you think, "Oh my god! I can't believe I did/said that!"? Yeah, those moments. Fess up, you know that you have had them.

I mostly have my moments like that in the foot-in-the-mouth category. Or, even more often, the I-wish-I-could-literally-put-my-foot-in-my-mouth-so-that-I-could-shut-the-fuck-up category. Seriously, I know that I talk a lot and if you know me at all you also know that I talk a lot, but sometimes, I don't know how it happens, I just carried away.

Venting with another teacher after a staff meeting today I had a moment like that. We are both stressed about some things that are going down at the school, hell, as far as I know most teachers are stressed about things at the school, but once I started running my mouth it was like I couldn't turn the engine off I was just going on and on about how frustrated I was and about all the shit that has gone down and it wasn't like I didn't want the other teacher to get to express his concerns (complain) or that I felt that mine were any more important or valid than his were or that I even cared so much to be saying the things that I was saying but I could not stop myself and I kept thinking "Just shut up!" and yet for some reason my brain would not send the proper signals to my mouth and it just kept going and going and I wonder if it is some type of disorder or maybe the result of a brain tumor or a stroke and I know that it is ridiculous and those of you who know me know what it is like when I get like this.

For those of you who don't, imagine hearing those last 165 rambling words spoken in 24 seconds in a high-pitched, breathless voice. Are you doing it? Yep, that irritating image in your head is my moment for the day.

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